


For You

by heart_strings



Category: Homin - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 09:43:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1683812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heart_strings/pseuds/heart_strings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By now, I am much too familiar with the disgusted looks that people would throw at me each time they stare into my mismatched eyes. It wasn’t surprising because my parents were probably part of them…. finding my eyes evil…. eventually, abandoning their child deep inside the woods where no one would need to lay their eyes on him again…. where it was left to die on its own as an abomination. Hahaha…. Am I that ugly? It hurts when I couldn’t find a single thing that I want live for… It wasn’t until that day, I finally found a glimpse of hope in my shattered life when I met him…. It was interesting how everything about him could be compared to an angel, yet he found me, someone as low as dirt, beautiful…. If you asked me if I regretted believing him…. No, I never did and never will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For You

**Author's Note:**

> Haiii~ this was originally posted on Asianfanfics;) and I'm just putting it here too~
> 
> Warning: Character Death and not proofread yet.

By now, I am much too familiar with the disgusted looks that people would throw at me each time they stare into my mismatched eyes. It wasn’t surprising because my parents were probably part of them…. finding my eyes evil…. eventually, abandoning their child deep inside the woods where no one would need to lay their eyes on him again…. where it was left to die on its own as an abomination. Hahaha…. Am I that ugly? It hurts when I couldn’t find a single thing that I want live for… It wasn’t until that day, I finally found a glimpse of hope in my shattered life when I met him…. It was interesting how everything about him could be compared to an angel, yet he found me, someone as low as dirt, beautiful…. If you asked me if I regretted believing him…. No, I never did and never will. 

-*-*-*-*-*-

It all begun on a raining day…. It seemed just like she was crying for my sorrows, too. Each drop of rain fell like a tear, downpouring from the dark sky. There, in the dirt where I belonged, my body laid lifelessly in its peaceful surroundings. I curled into a little ball, bracing myself from the coldness of the wind. The rain and my tears were mixing together as I cried so hard…. trembling as the the drops of water made contacts with my sensitive skin, seeping through my ripped rags. I wished these could wash off the filth that stained my body for so long, but I knew it wouldn’t. I’m filthy because of my sinful body….. of what I need to do in order to survive here…. Please tell me why is it so hard to find love…..? Is it because of my eyes…? I can’t rip them out… My heart felt as if it was torn as my eyes never stop watering. Breathing heavily through my lungs, I took a deep breath before opening my mouth to sing. It always hurt less when I start singing…. It seemed to become something that keep me away from those troubling thoughts. Through my clogged throat, I sang a soft lullaby as it continues to rain harder and louder…. I paid no mind, but continued to sing the high notes with no difficulties, sounding as beautiful and clear as a nightingale that stalked through the trees in a lonely night. The sighing wind matched well with my voice, almost like harmonizing. The sweet sounds were articulated well through my ears, expressing my emotions in every way. From there, I sang until my voice grew rough and raspy. I sang until it stopped raining, and an illusion of colors appeared over the baby blue sky and the white cotton clouds. 

To tell the truth, I actually wished for so much more…. Each night, from the abandoned shrine, I would sit on the porch, staring up at the mysterious night sky while wondering what is out there in the world. The silver stars decorated the velvet sky perfectly with the broad pale moon staying in the center of all, and I would clasp my hands together by my lips, chanting my wish softly under my breath…I would wish for warmth… for protection… for love…. for a pair of hands to hold onto mine for no matter what happens. However, life is a game where the more you chase after something, it moves farther away from you…. I feel closer to death than life. However, everything lights up when I first met him.

 

As I moved into the marketplace, I lowered my head, looking down at my poor sandals as I hold onto my basket of vegetables dearly. I could hear them again…. It is the same as always…. “Oh… Look… That kid is back..” A woman whispered too loudly to her friend who stood right next to her. In exchange, a smirk just grew on her friend’s lips, bravely speaking out loud as everyone looked at me with hating glares. “Oh yes, he is just a slut who has no shame…” Then, the other one laughed evilly, covering her bloody red colored lips. As they talked, they walked away into a store, moving on subjects already. Shaking and feeling my eyes wet from shame again, I ran quickly into the dark alley where I usually meet my customers. 

I don’t understand a thing of the true world. I don’t understand the cruelness of others in this world. I have no choice but to live like this so I could live. Is it wrong? Please tell me that I am not wrong. These thoughts came up again, and I’m scare. I’m scare that I would lose all my hopes. 

I stood still there, closing my eyelids to steal some sleep while leaning my back against the brick wall. My heart tried to calm down as I breathe slow patterns like those of a newborn baby. My hands formed fists, clutching onto the sides of my pants as I drop the basket of vegetables to the ground lightly. Slowly calming down, I stayed like that for a few more minutes before hearing someone’s footsteps loudly echoing throughout the alley, the sounds bounced off of the walls and onto another one. I was startled. My eyes immediately flew open with frightness written over my face. My head turned to the side to see the certain person who would roughly take me tonight again. The sun was shining a bit too bright when he walked into the shaggy place, covering himself in darkness where I can’t see his face at all… My lips parted, releasing a shaky breath while my legs started to wiggle. When his slow steps finally carried him next to me, I held onto my breath like my life. It was strange how he seemed different when I actually look at him up close than in the beginning. He wasn’t like my usual customers, not with a greasy smile or anything. In addition, it was his smile that seemed much too innocent to be standing next to me now. Everything about him was…. breathtaking, making my heart fasten each second after I saw his beautiful figure. The boy seemed no older than seventeen, skinny and short, wearing a cutely styled outfit that made him carry around a child-like aura. His brown hazel eyes sparkled as he smiled brightly at me like the stars that look down at me each night when I falls asleep out on the porch. A rare beauty mark decorated above his lips that were in a shade of a rose, shaped like a neatly tied ribbon. His light pink hair carried a scent of flowers and berries with him, catching my attention quickly as he move closer to examine my face. His wide curious orbs stared into mine, and it definitely reminded me of a child. At that moment, I froze, moving back a step until my back hit the stone wall. Laughing at my behavior, he grinned wide like the Chesire cat, speaking that he wasn’t there for my body, but for a friend. 

In the end, he hired me to go to his house each day to play with him. As the days we spent together increased, I found out more about him….. from what is his favorite doll to his most hated things. His actions are definitely a child’s, always getting excited and questioning over little things. For example, when he discovers a spider, he would curiously peek in between the gap of his fingers as he try to not scream because he is afraid of them. Then, he would pout cutely and repeatedly call out for me to come and save him from the poor little creature. In exchange, I would laugh at his silliness before taking the bug away to a safer place without any Yunhos. The boy is very cheerful, happy at most times as he bounce around, living everyday of his life in the weather of summer. At least I thought so….  
That day, when I got to his mansion with ease, moving up the staircase, I heard muffled moans and sobs coming down from the hall. His room stood independently at the end of the hallway, pink and cute with the words ‘Yunho’s Room: DO NOT ENTER’ carved onto the wooden door, and that was where the noises were coming from. There, my body grew cold and stiff where I became a block of stone. I wanted to run…. to run down the halls and barge into that room to save the sweet child from a nightmare… But my legs wouldn’t move…. I was afraid. The noises grew louder as the hands of the clock moved forward, and soon, the door creaked open. An old man came out of the room that I recognized as Yunho’s, wearing neatly put on clothes that I knew what happened inside that room just now. From where I stood, he smugly nudged me aside before moving down the stairs, going toward the exit. At that moment, my throat went dry as I swallowed thickly, slowly stumbling my way toward the baby pink door. Chewing onto my bottom lip roughly until I drew blood, I opened the door without any warning. I was ready and mentally prepared. Behind the barrier of thin woods, it laid the naked figure of Yunho on the his king sized bed. He was crying in the dirty sheets, clutching onto his favorite doll, Bambi. My legs gave out, and my blood boiled, angry for why I couldn’t run when the child needed me.

I quickly rushed to his side, hugging onto his waist as he cried his heart out, wetting my shoulder with his tears. My hand patted his back softly, trying to calm his cries and hiccups. We stayed in that position until he drifted to sleep. I wished that he would just wake up and realize that everything was only a bad dream, but that wasn’t the truth. I knew he pretended for my sake, but I wasn’t even a bit convinced.

Afterwards, we both never spoke of it again. From that day on, I learned that Yunho was never happy….. It was all a lie. At the start, it was strange indeed already that why was an angel like him near me when I could clearly stain his beauty…. And now, I know…. Maybe that was why he hired me out of everyone….. he knew that I would understand him. And I did.

-*-*-*-*-*-

 

Somehow, whenever I move my thoughts back to him, I would always find myself smiling at the boy. I always remembered his words…. My eyes were beautiful, he said. A cloud of periwinkle and stars twitching in my right while the forest green decorated my left. He called them special, making me felt flustered and warm. It felt weird because I never experience such strong feelings before in my entire life, and I was sure I might be falling for him. I begun smiling more often for each time I got to see his beautiful face. I loved the affections that we both share for each others to the point where I feel like death can’t part us….. It feels crazy…. yet refreshing because he became my new hope.

-*-*-*-*-*-

“Yunho, I need to leave now…. We’ll see each other again tomorrow so it’s fine…. Go to sleep now, child.” I smiled softly, raising up my hand to softly pat Yunho’s head. In return to my words, the boy pouted sadly, tightening his hold on the end of my shirt. “No….. Changmin…. Stay… Please…” He whined and pleaded with his puppies eyes that he always know has a great effect on me. I gulped nervously and decided to stand strong for once, shaking my head softly with another attempting try. “Sorry, Yunnie….. Changminnie needs to lea-” I was stunned. My words were cut off short by his soft lips pressing down onto mine. His eyes were closed, his arms naturally wrapped around my neck because of my height. He just stood there quietly without any further movements, where I assumed that he was waiting for me to lead. Feeling my lips curved into a grin, my arms snaked around his slim waist, holding him tightly as I kissed him back with burning passions. I could feel his palms growing sweaty against my neck, his plump lips moving along mine. When he opened his mouth to release a loud moan, I took this chance to move my tongue in between his teeth, exploring his wet carven. Our tongues danced together, tasting the sweetness of cotton candies in his saliva. It tasted like heaven when we kissed for the first time. Our bottoms were rubbing together, needy for friction and touches. When we finally separated for air, I took in a shaky breath, examining him. His lips became red and swollen from kissing, his half lidded eyes were clouded with desires. Lust overtook me for that moment…. It was darkly pulling Yunho in with me. We shielded each other through that night from any insecurities and when the morning sun rose, we were still together, exchanging giggles and smiles. It was incredible, and I was happy to finally known what was love….. I wished that we could had stayed together longer, but…

 

“Changmin! No!! Save me… Pl-please stop….” He screamed as he held onto my hands tightly even though we were slipping away slowly as the force from both sides broke us apart. I watched as the men brought him away and yet I couldn’t do anything…. Why? Why are you guys taking away the last of my happiness, I asked. They never spoke back nor replied, only dragging me out of the room.

 

-*-*-*-*-*-*-

 

My smile remained on my lips although I knew what was coming ahead of me. I’m glad for, at least, having him in my heart, and I wish that me, too, would always stay in his no matter where he goes. If not for him, I believed that my life would revolve each day just like death. There were tears left in my eyes as my hand gripped tightly onto the ropes. Down came the blade, skillfully outlining my skin as if it was sketching. Professionally, the men did art on my skin, in the end, creating a pool of blood under me. I gasped and panted heavily for air when I noticed that death was near. The man’s hand came down, plucking out my eyes calmly, removing them from the root. ‘Yunho, I loved you. Please don’t forget me….’


End file.
